(Something to ponder about, if you feel that you have fallen into this category...)
This morning I was going through my prayer book and I saw a little prayer which literally prays for a loveless marriage...so it got me thinking....
How does this happen? Why does it happen?
Its really sad to see a marriage become a loveless marriage. Its sad because we know that in the very beginning they were very much madly in love with each other.
Let me give you an example of a loveless marriage..(true example of a couple I have seen recently)
Husband has an affair with someone else, wife finds out and gets very angry (obviously). For the kids sake, the marriage continues. Wife tries to make it work, husband couldn't be bothered less about it, but for the kids sake, stays with the wife.
So the marriage continues, sometimes husband have breakfast with family, no conversation at all between husband and wife, only between the kids. After breakfast, husband just leaves the table without saying 'bye'. Wife takes the kids and go.
Isn't that just sad??? Can it be fix??? Should they get a divorce??? Well, if they are Christians, obviously not. So, how can they make it work??? Is it really a gone case???
I guess it really depends on whether the couple is willing to work it out or not. In most cases, they don't even try and that is the sad part.
The other thing is that, why do some people like to wreck a marriage??? If they know the man or the woman is married, why can't they leave them alone???
I really do think that couples who face this problem should have the courage to go for counselling and try to figure out what happen to make them fall into a loveless marriage. I'm sure if they try hard enough, somehow somewhere they would be able to find the love that had years before.
My marriage isn't all sunshine and sparks....I've been through hell with my husband but both of us are not willing to let the marriage fall into that category...so we work hard at keeping it together.
Unless of course your husband abuses you, than that is another story altogether....in that case...its better to get out of it or for him to get some serious help...
Life is never easy.....and that's a fact...you may think, I'm never going to forgive my husband/wife for cheating on me and I don't love him anymore anyway....and like I said, its really your decision on whether you are willing to work hard to fix your marriage or not....I know that most woman these days are very independent and have jobs of their own and may think that they don't deserve such a husband but think again....think about the kids...think about giving it a second chance before you do anything drastic. Divorce is just an easy way out....remember your marriage vows..."For better or for worse"....so don't quit on it cause you made a vow and a vow is something you shouldn't break....if not why bother with the vows in the first place....right???
To end this, I think the prayer I saw in my prayer book, is worth sharing (its a woman's prayer book):
Restoration for a Trouble Marriage
Lord, I know that you intended that the greatest, most rewarding human relationship in my life would be marriage. Help my husband ad I to resolve any differences that we have had. Rekindle in our hearts the love, joy, and passion we had for each other when we first married. Lord, heal our heart from the hurts of the past, and bring unity to our marriage.
Help us forgive each other for mistakes we have made and to start fresh again. help me to be loving, understanding, and sensitive toward my husband. Reveal to me areas where I need to change in order to improve our relationship. I kow you may be thinking, why should I change, my husband is the one with the problems, but the restoration to a troubled marriage needs to start somewhere and it would be nice if it could start with you. Be the sensible one and start first.
Remind us and help us to never criticise or speak in anger to each other. help us to put a guard over our mouths so that we never say words that bring hurt, pain, or discouragement to each other. Show us in your Word, Lord, how to love and give to each other. Let our lives be an example of Your love and grace.
Lord, restore our marriage completely and totally in Jesus' name. Amen!
P/S. May God Bless you marriage today and every other day...have a good weekend!!! :D
Our Wedding Day on the 1st May 2004
Being blessed by the Fr.John...a day to always cherish :)
3 comments:
i agree with you in some ways. Keep the marriage for the sake of the children. BUT... is it really good for the children to see what their parents are going thru?
Sometimes I think that separation is the only way to go because of the loveless marriage. I have friends and they come from a broken marriage and they always say that their parents are happier when they are apart. But each case is different.
My cousin is in a loveless marriage and they stayed together for the sake of the kids. You would think that their kids are too young to understand, BELIEVE me they do. THEY KNOW what is going on and when ever I babysit them, they tell me things like "Mom and dad were shouting and fighting again." and they are like only 4-10 years old.
So would you rather let your children hear you fighting and arguing or go your separate ways?
I would go for the latter.
or...they could figure out what when wrong with their marriage and try to fall in love again??? just a thought...
happy belated anniversary jaq!
happy ever after, u can do it ;)
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