Heartbroken on Sunday :(

That Sunday morning I woke up to my 3.5 year old daughter kissing me on my cheek and saying 'I love you mummy'. That was like 7am in the morning. It was a beautiful way to wake up to, but I was still tired and wanted to sleep. So I told my daughter I love her too and told her that mummy still wanted to sleep. So she decided she would do some colouring with my MIL. In the process of colouring she came to me and kiss me again and told me that she wanted me to colour in her book after I woke up. I said 'ok!' and close my eyes again.

Then at 9am I decided that its time to wake up, so I got up and went straight to the toilet. She forgot that she wanted me to colour and so did I. So after showering and in the process of getting ready to go to church, she came into the room and said to me or more like scream at me. The conversation went like this:

Daughter: 'MOMMY!!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO COLOUR FIRST BEFORE YOU DIUK!!!' (Diuk in Kelabit is Bath)

Me: Sorry dear, but mummy already mandi, let mummy get ready first to go to church then I will colour with you

Daughter (Screaming and crying): NO!!! YOU HAVE TO COLOUR FIRST BEFORE YOU DIUK!!!

Me: But I already mandi, there is nothing I can do already...

Daughter(Crying hysterically and screaming at the same time saying): NO!!! YOU HAVE TO COLOUR FIRST BEFORE YOU DIUK!!!

Me (Shouting): WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! IF YOU CONTINUE LIKE THIS, MOMMY LEAVE YOU AT HOME AH!!!!

Daughter (Crying and shouting): YOU SAID YOU WILL COLOUR FIRST!!!!

Me: AIYO!!!! SORRY LAH!!!! I COLOUR LATER!!! LET MUMMY GET READY FIRST!!!

Daughter: I WANT YOU TO COLOUR FIRST!!!

Me: SERA!!! YOU STOP THAT AH!!! MUMMY BEAT YOU AFTERWARDS AH!!!!

Daughter: I WANT YOU TO COLOUR FIRST BAHHHH!!!

So I surrendered and was super annoyed, so I went out to colour that paper that she wanted me to colour. While doing that I didn't even say a word to her. After I finished I went back into the room to get ready again. Of course my daughter came in as well with me. And the conversation continues:

Daughter: Mummy I want you to colour the other picture also...

Me (being very irritated with her): WAIT BAH!!! AFTERWARDS WE ALL WON'T BE ABLE TO GET TO CHURCH BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Daughter obviously started crying...

ME (getting more irritated by that time): STOP IT SERA!!!

Daughter (Crying): Mummy I kiss you this morning bah and say I love you, why you Bu'uh-bu'uh me... (Bu-uh in Kelabit means scold)

Wah! At that moment I felt like I was the most terrible mom in the history of moms!!! I immediately put down what I was doing and carried her and gave her a big hug and said I was sorry. My heart broke into tiny pieces!!! It was so heartbreaking!!! I couldn't believe I could have been so mean to her. I apologies to her and told her that I was in a bad mood that morning, and you know what she said:

Daughter: It's ok mummy, you bad mood...

And we both hug and said 'I love YOUs' and she gave me the hugest of smiles....and I gave her many many kisses...

Sigh....I sure as hell will never forget that day....the day my heart broke into small pieces...but with her smile and ok she glued it all back again....

The worst part to it was "It was a Sunday, a day where I shouldn't even have gotten angry with her' I had to ask God for his forgiveness for losing my temper that morning. But (yes, I'm trying to justify myself a little bit here :P) sometimes kids can be so unreasonable with their demands. Don't you think so???

Well, for one thing I'm sure of is that I can't live without her. She's my little angel and on that day, she made me realise that sometimes all you need is more patience and love. Both of which I'm struggling to have more of.

That's it from me aka the terrible mom :( ....ta!

The New Bicycle and me Craving for UFO aka Mexican Hat....

Sigh...its still raining....I guess not many people remembered to sing the song that I said we should sing....then again, why in the world would people want to listen to me...hahaha....

Anyway, yesterday I went to the bicycle shop to buy a nice little bicycle for my darling daughter...I saw one that I like with the criteria that she mentioned (the criteria was: PINK and have basket infront) I thought it was a really nice bicycle :D. I send it home to my hubby forst so he could clean it up a bit and make it look presentable then I went to pick her up. When we got back home, she didn't notice it but when she saw it, her whole face lit up!!! :D I of course happy lah! Cause I was the one who chose it mah!!! And I was thankful that she liked what I chose :P. She came down from the car and straight away went onto the bike....hehe...what child wouldn't do that....right?

Anyway, as usual being a 3 year old girl she couldn't really keep her feet on the pedal and instead of pedaling it to the front, she pedals it backwards, probably cause it was easier to move that way. And since I'm still PMS-ing....hahaha...I almost got upset cause she kept on pedaling it the wrong way and she kept on saying that the bicycle won't move. I even got down to my knees to help her pedal by putting my hand on her feet...it was a bit successful but not really...hahaha...so I think I took a few deep breathes and said to myself "for goodness sake JACQ!, it's her first time on the bike! Give her some time!!!". After a few rounds I got fed-up and went to look for the camera so I could take pictures of her...haha...everytime I see her smile, it melts my heart and I'm not angry anymore...:D. See that smile below...how can you stay angry at that cheecky little face :P

My extremely happy little sunshine :D

She's obviously trying her best to cycle but she has yet to coordinate herself. She'll concentrate so much on her pedalling that she forgets to turn the handles and goes right into the wall.. :)

Posing with her new wheels!

Talking about her smiling, just now when I picked her up from school, I was like 2 minutes late and she was crying (like really hard)....sigh...that just broke my heart...so I had to carry her and give her many many kisses. I ask her why she cried and whether it was because I was late, and she said Yes!. So kesian!!! Usually I'm one of those mom's who are eager to break down the fence to be the first to get to her class and since she first started class, I was always the first or the secong :P, so I guess she thought I wasn't coming since I wasn't the first neither the second. I had to reassure her pver and over again just now, that I will always pick her up even when I'm late....but I did also promise her that from now on I'll be early. And I'm sure I'll be early cause I don't want her to cry like that again...I really felt so bad that I made her cry just now....yes..I'm pretty emotional when I'm PMS-ing too!!!

Talking about PMS-ing again, I feel like eating the UFO looking kuih....or some people may call it the Mexican Hat....but I call it the UFO kuih cause that's what my dad use to call it :D. That kuih always reminds me of him cause when i was young, every time after he comes back from work, he will bring it back for us to eat before dinner...but I remembered at that time I use to like to eat the crispy part only and I usually left the middle part to anyone else who wanted to eat it...hmmm....I wonder who ate them up anyway...I could never sit still to find out. Oh well..gone are those days when there were no responsibilities and when I had my dad around. Sigh....I miss him so much...I wonder what he's up to in heaven. Alrighty, better not talk about him anymore before I get all emotional...:P

Oklah...enough about me...I can be so self-centered sometimes :P

TA for now!!! And after work I'll teach my daughter how to use her bike again :D TA!

The Little Monster!!!

I'm doing this particular blog as a request from a good friend in Penang (you know who you are babe!!!). Now this is my little girl, I REPEAT! MY LITTLE GIRL!!! Don't ask me why she looks like a boy, I seriously have no idea.

Maybe its because during my pregnancy, people kept telling me that I'm going to have a boy and they come to that conclusion by looking at my stomach shape. I thought that was pretty cool though....hahaha...but that just proves that it doesn't matter what the shape of your stomach is, you could still very likely have a girl :) And that's what I have!!! Didn't want to scan to find out the gender but I always wanted to have a girl....so when I was going through my ceasarean (couldn't push her out cause my pelvic bone just wouldn't expand and I think she was a pretty big baby for my size at 3.1kg (note I'm not even 5 foot tall) I was rushed from the labour room to the operation room for an emergncy ceasarean) and waiting for her to come out to find out whether its a boy or a girl, you cannot believe how HAPPY I was when I found out it was a GIRL!!! She was a dream come true!!!

To cut the story short and not go through all the gory details....let me introduce to you my daughter. She is 2 years 5 months old and a little monster...but nevertheless a really cheeckily cute one. Her name is SERAPHINA JEWEL SUPANG SOLOMON (Yeah I know, I know, I got carried away when it came to giving her a name...haha...she'll probably be upset with me once she starts school), she's My little Angel (at times lah!).

Now I'm a Chinese Eurasian (should have been called ChiSian) and her Dad is Kelabit, so therefore she is a CHIBIT (Chinese Kelabit) hahahaha....such a cute name for a race, don't you all think? Anyway, Here she is!!!

Quick take the picture mom, QUICK!!! I don't know how long I can pull this smile!!! Are you finish already cause I can't see!!!

You want me to smile some more??? Aiyo! my cheecks painful already from the big smile I gave you just now.....tak cukup ke???

Nah! I posing for you lah! Look like model or not??? What do you think of this pose??? Nah! I smile side ways for you!!! Ok kah??? Enough already???

Mom!!! enough already!!! Grrrrrrr.....

And that's my little monster!!! Cheeckily cute, don't you think??? *wink* I am of course being bias here lah cause she is my daughter bah..so I memang say she cute lah!!! Hahaha....wait till you have your own than you'll say the same too!!! For those who have your own, don't you think your anak is so cute??? I rest my case!!! :P