I Lost My Pregnancy :(

Sorry for the MIA. Its been a long month since I wrote the last post. My last post was about wanting to get pregnant......and guess what, I was actually pregnant then...note the word "WAS".

Let me tell you the story. It's really strange. As I was writing that particular post, I didn't know that I had a baby growing in me. It was probably about 2 to 3 weeks old. Of course I was clueless cause I'm the kind who usually does not suffer from morning sickness and I was having my period at that time (I thought it was my period) cause it pretty much came within the 30 days frame. So who would have guessed right?

Anyway, I wasn't feeling all that well and decided to see the doctor on the 20th Nov. At that time I thought I was having really bad period cramps. Went to the doctor and he said the same. I went home with one day sick leave and pain killers. Then on Sunday morning, 23rd Nov, I was in so much pain that I couldn't even walk. Every time I tried, I kept wanting to faint so I had to immediately sit down. I was having cold sweat and my ears were buzzing. I had to consume pain killers and I rested for a bit before my hubby took me to Columbia Asia. When I reached there, they immediately put me into the emergency area, apparently I was so pale. The doctor again tried to figure out what was wrong with me and they diagnose me with Urinary Tract Infection. After a few hours, I was sent home with more medicines to take.

After taking the medicines, I was fine but my stomach was still bloated and it just didn't feel right. I went back to the doctor on Thursday, 27th Nov, and I told him I was still bleeding and it has been almost two weeks. He noted that I was still pale looking and decided to take my blood, urine and stool sample this time. I again went home with some more medicine. That afternoon I got a call from the doctors place saying that my blood results were back and to come in the next day.

So, in I went again to Columbia Asia on the 28th Nov, and this time he told me my haemoglobin was very low. He then wanted to send me to a specialist called Dr.Yeo but I requested that he should send me to a Gynaecologist instead cause I was still having my period. He agreed and I was immediately referred to Dr.Aida. That morning as well, I went to see her, and she did and sonogram and she saw something in my womb. She then took my urine test and told me I was pregnant. I was of course in shock. Told me that it could be a molar pregnancy which isn't a baby or it could be a missed abortion or more like a miscarriage but the sac is still left in my womb. She said she had to do a D & C (if you are not sure what it is you can look it up) to clean my womb. So I was admitted and got the D & C done. Was feeling fine in the evening so I was discharge. I was actually sad that I lost a baby but happy that finally they figured out what was wrong with me. I was given 2 weeks medical leave. After resting for 6 days , I went back to work on the 5th Dec.

However, on Saturday, 6th Dec, during my daughter's birthday party at the boat club, I had a sudden attack of pain which pain me feel faint. I thought it was the fruits I ate that was too cooling that made me feel like that. Hubby ask me whether I wanted to go and see a doctor but I said its ok, and I told him it could be the fruits. Was in pain that night but somehow it was bearable. The next day I was still able to go to church and all. Went back to work on Monday feeling absolutely fine. On Tuesday, 9th Dec, I received a call saying that my results were back from the lab and I needed to come in and see the Doctor the next day.

So the next day, 10th Dec, I met with Dr.Aida again and she told me that there were no signs of any pregnancy tissue when they did the D & C. So she did another sonogram on me and told me that there was something behind my womb. I was devastated cause this just meant that I have an ectopic pregnancy and it means that I would have to be admitted again. She checked my urine and I was still pregnant.

In I went again to be admitted for a small surgery to take out the baby that was in my fallopian tube. Well, it was suppose to be a small surgery, instead that I had to cut open my cesarean scar again to solve the problem.

The operation lasted for 3 hours due to complications. Apparently the fallopian tube had ruptured already and I was bleeding. She tried as best as she could to save that fallopian tube but it wouldn't stop bleeding and I was just way to pale. After 20 minutes of trying, she had to tie it up to stop the bleeding. And that meant, I lost one tube to conceive a baby.

I was given 2 pints of blood transfusion as I lost too much blood. She let me rest that night and only came in to see me the next morning, 11th Dec. She told me one of the saddest things that I've ever heard in my life. She told me that I lost my right fallopian tube and that my left Fallopian tube did not have those nice fingers at the end. Instead it was well rounded. She told me that this meant that I have a very low chance of ever getting pregnant again. She said scientifically it looks as if its not possible but she also did say in her own words that God works in mysterious ways.

I of course cried my eyeballs out that day but I believe that nothing is impossible to God. I believe in miracles and who knows one of these days you'll read a blog about me being pregnant again. But for now, I'm grateful that I have one beautiful daughter. Worst comes to worst, there is always the option of adoption.

And that's my story. I'm recovering at home, which means my Christmas has started early :D. I have no clue why this has happen to me, but I believe God has a reason for everything. I'm also grateful that I'm still alive...:)

And that's it from me. Have a blessed day ahead everyone. Will write again in a couple of days. Ta for now!!!

P/S. I have yet to name my baby that is now in heaven. Any suggestions for a nice name. I'm thinking its a girl. So her name has to start with the letter 'S' :). Sigh...how I wish I was still pregnant and it was a normal pregnancy....